MY FIRST LOVE...............

HIII ,

Today I was talking to one of my buddy .....ahh ya he was from my sports hostel...,we were just memorising and talking about our old days ...how we use to enjoy our lives in that kind of difficult schedule ,as schedule start right at 5 am in the morning and end up at 7;30 in evening , and then after all those nuscenses heheheh

, and in the end of session how we use to put all our efforts to make it in team.....

have I ever told you about my life ,that what I was , ya i know as most of time I am here to crib about the negative part of my life and my present time...Today I just realised that life is too short .

annhhh..... ya well I was a sports man guys, I use to play out right in the team,and now I am doing PhD in sports sciences , well I was a fighter and utterly stubborn towards ever thing , who had never say die approach ...mm may be still I have.

Well today I am here to discuss about my first love which none other than HOCKEY...............

my friend was discussing about how we use to play and how crowd use to cheer for us .....hey I missed my school and college days , as most of people who know me still being in touch and cherish my days.wow all I remember is my Hockey Stick, my kit bag, all my sport gears, which are still being with me....
As according to him we were dudes ...........heheheh,well really I dont have any greatest idea about what he said ......but my most memorable moment was when I saw my name among of the players who had sellected for INDIAN TEAM at JUNIOR LEVEL wowwwwwwwwwww....

like still those moments were preety fresh in front of my eyes....

I MISS MY DAYS hmmm>>>>>>>> WELL I REALLY DONT KNOW HOW INSANE I AM ,BUT I am FEELING THAT AS ITS NOT BEING TOO LATE TO GET BACK TO FIELD , I AM FEELING LIKE MY OLD DAYS ARE CALLING ME.

Well ya Its really sad to read about your perception about me ...as you feeling like I m a cheater and a lier ....hey I do agree that most of time I am quite admant and never listen to any one ......and most of time I hide my hard time from others ,,,but that doesnt mean that I am a cheater ....

Just think about it .....what I have done ,what I am doing and why Iam here,,,, and if still you think I have betrayed you or to cheated on you , then tell more I can do....

I know Some time I am really hyper and I poke in that flow...and I am really sorry for that...........

hey ALL thanks To my hostel mate who make me memorizing my days and give me a new life to breath in.................

thanks to this page who can hear me.

THE CIRCUMSTANCES......

hii ,

I guess its been since long I am writing now, the reason wasnt that simple , because i was roaming all around the country just to get a bit near by to the place where my beloved dwell in.....

So at last i m here for last 5 days it was just like a dream come true ,as we roam all around the city on her scooty pep,done all the jobs which we had looking to be in hehehe.....pearcing , shopping , eating chinease....and etc.....hey she drove quite fast haan so dont underestimate her as a driver ,,,,,as i had also got the chance to drive her scooty and got all the driving lessons from my back seat......hehehe.but i love that well all thanks to sun ,who provide me this apportunity hehehe....

great fun with great enjoyment ....isnt,,but still most of time i m questioning my self why cant i make her satisfy ...how can i make her happy.how to do it, some time I frustrated with this and trouble myself and her too .....

things were preaty fine till yesterday ,,,

when because of my home quarrels and my frustration to make her happy comes out with all sought of stupid words which i spoke to her....and now as result now she is not talking to me not answering my calls and msgs ........

plzz i request you all plzz pray for me so that she will talk to me ,,,,as i cant see her angry.

but i didnt mean that bacha............

i hope you can understand ...As you allways , so plzz do it this time also na......

some time I really tired hard to make things in a proper way around me....but what to do,some time god wishes are greater than yours....

you being like a small pebbel in front of the almighty destiny....

So as I felt same................

I hope you will understand me and as your anger shed off ,,,

I will make you understand my last day condition..........

A Journey................Dream come true.......

Hii ,As we need to go further, before that i would like to say hii to u all and just wish for the wellness from almighty,

I know most of time I m being a chaff and talk babble, but i beg you for this as I am not cognizant of it......

So furthur on that day arun keep trying to fiddle that guy ,Arun also told him that the pick of the gal is also fake , hehehehe ......... , but that guy was in deep shock as it was very first time he had gone through all this , he wasnt ready to accost this situation ,

but later on the guy appeared to acquiesce to arun words ,

but deep in sight some thing has already started , which he wasn't know that it would be so virulent and vehement,

after all , this guy keep on waiting for the gal on the net , most of time he kept on waiting for her and ponder her , As he do had her fake pick , this guy keep on ponder her for hours and hours , and try to over come the sulk,

earlier he thought that its just a infatuation , but as time passes on this thing take the heavy toll ,he kept on pondering her and want to concede his thoughts about her ,

in between its 4 or 5 times she met him online, and talk about the some admission of his nephew at Doon school, the guy express his help in the intake process,as he have good contacts over there ,,, frankly speaking he just looking for an way so that he can talk to her again but he failed as he is menial , and as the result she found it abominable and said big no to him,,hehehehe ,

while talking to her he try hard to express him but he always fails to do so as he was quite shy and more Lesly afraid off too ,,,so he remain his words silent , as what he was afraid of what ever said by arun about the city gals ,

but he thought what ever he said ,,, thats all apart but this gal is not like others , as this gal express her sorry to him ,on that prank.....

but still this guy quite afraid off , thats why from that day only he decided to not to go on chat room because of its very first bitter experience ,slowly -slowly time has passed ....

and one day again this gal met him ........

and suddenly she asked him why love hurt ....... , it seems like that she was shattered by some one in love ....

by looking her in deep sorrow this guy shattered in to his deep........he coudnt find the way to console her in any means......

So at last he said love never hurts ......as thats all he know about the love......

As this guy was in conversation with her ........ suddenly arun appears huh ......

And we all start conversation........

while in this guy gave her hint about what he feel about her,,,, and remaining of things is proofed by arun words ............

after wards she kept on asking to this guy about what ever arun had expressed about his feeling , but still this guy wasn't sure to express himself.......

but after wards he express himself with the palette ....

now this guy is in big exult .......

but suddenly this gal concede that she already deeply attach to some one and its very difficult for her to move out of this ,,

this words seems like as some one perish the tree before fruits came on ........

ones again he predispose to earlier thoughts and abominate his decision to express him self ,,,

As earlier he was happy to not to express his thoughts but now he is in fuddle and berate on arun and his decision .......

as time progresses on arun left from there and again its became so late in the night.......

afterwards she also decided to move on ..........she left from there .....

astonishingly again she came back and asked the guy weather he want her cell no ............

it was like as you are asking for to have a water from thirsty guy ........she gave her no .......

guy called her on her no it was very first time they both are talking on cell.......

they kept on talking to each other up to morning.........

so this was there very first meeting with each other..........

after that every time guy kept on waiting for her call, so that he can talk to her and placate her all the problems............

So this was the very first time the guy came to know the love .........he was so happy to think that the gal to whom he kept on thinking ......now the days she talking to him .........as it was just like a dream come true ...........but from deep inside he was afraid of too,because of his sensitive and emotional nature ........

but ultimately he was really happy that he got his love and from inside he decided to just to live for her .................

but he wasn't known to the harsh reality of life , how dreams are always meant to be broken and nothing else ..................

TO BE CONTINUED..........

thanks to this page who can hear me .................

A journey..................called love

Hiii to you all as I told you in my last bog that from today

I m going to start a new chapter ,its all about a love story of an guy , who just instantly fell in love with a girls whom he had met in a chat room and how his life transformed ,how a simple ,common , cheerful guy fall in true love with an advance metropolitan gal , and how his and his dear ones life has changed after that......so lets begin with it ....

March 15 2009
its being quite late in night the guy fell sick of his PhD work and the jobs which allocated to him By Sports Authority of INDIA ,as its been just few month since he has been in Delhi, so doesn’t know many peoples over there and his school friend circle also scattered,,
So one of his friend advice him to go to chat room and just pass some quality time while chatting with every one,
So ultimately guy decided to pass some time on the chat room as he was heck of the work load...
he logged onto Delhi 19 room where loads of people chatting ,,,
as its being first time he logged into such site so it seems bit unusual that how he need to start his words ..
ultimately there was one guy who start talking to him ...his name was arun ...he just started with his unusual talks,and lately this boy engage in to his words and also start enjoying it ,slowly slowly there were other guys too who start mingle with in the conversations ,as he was in voice chat over there , the guy wasn’t known that the peoples are listening him and they were just making fun of his words ,
suddenly he saw a msg on the screen as, one gal crib about the filthy guys who, show the nerd things on the cam, guy thought that its his moral responsibility to support the gal and let her know that she need not to except such cams,
as he was fool and thought that she also a new bi to this chat room like him ,
Suddenly arun manipulate the guy words and complain to gal that this guy talking about her, the guy wasn’t known about this that she cant listen to him
hehehehe such a fool he was ,
the gal start conversation with guy and asking about what he was telling about her , the guy try to make her understand about what he told to her,suddenly arun msg this guy that gal was talking about his voice ,,,so arun ask this guy to just sing a song ...for every one ,,

Now this boy is in his utter dilemma that what he should do now as he feel quite shy but suddenly he consolidate all his valor and start singing ,,,,,the first song which he sang was "too hi re " the gal start cheering this guy , and asked to sing more songs ,the 2nd song was" tanha dil tanha safar",

the guy wasn’t known to this fact that this was all planned to make him fool....

suddenly she ask for more , the guy became soo touched by her words so he decided to sing the songs just for her , he kept on singing for all most whole night , and gal keep on cheering him , suddenly the gal said those magical words which will going to change the coming life of this stupid boy

as a msg appear on screan "I LOVE YOU " and just a flash guy became so touched to these words and instantally he start believing her words
, as arun also make him believe that she is true with her feeling , he wasn’t known to this fact its just a trick to make him fool and this all planned by arun and that gal ,
as it was quite late in night most of guys has already left from the room , and now there was only 3 peoples left in the room one that guy , that gal and arun , that guy still keep on singing as he was provoked by the gal , and deep in heart this guy also decided to just to sing for her , as he was singing for last few hours so his throat became so soar that he unable to speak even a single word,
then suddenly one more msg appear on the screan which make this guy completely shattered up to his deepest , suddenly gal wrote I LOVE YOU bhaiya means brother hehehehe......
the gal wasn’t known to this fact this guy start liking her but he really scare to tell this to her , but by her words he just shattered and became speech less ....
Lately arun make him understand that this was just a prank which is planned by her and him,
As they had spent a whole night so they all decided to add each other and start sharing each other picks,
Here also they both make this guy fool and shown the fake picks of their but the guy wasnt that smart and showed the real one of his,,,,
After wards gal decided to left as its being 6 in the morning, but the boy still in the shock, he trying to understand why she spoke all,
Are these words are too small that any one can use them so easily,,,,,
But arun try to make him understand that she is a city gal and he need not to trouble his senses, as the guy like him is just a joke for her, ,,,,
arun wasn’t known to this that those words had already transforms his life

Deep in heart the guy start liking her, .,,,, but he kept his emotions silent as still he was in the state of shock .....

The guy wasn’t known to this fact that this is not an end of all there is lot going to come on his way, which he need to face........
TO BE CONTINUED (and sorry for my words as I won’t mean to hurt any one)

Thanks to this page who can hear my heart.............

A running sky....

hii ,

its being for last 10 hours i am here at hyderabad, last night journey was like hell ,,got back side seat in the bus ,,as it was an AC volvo , but still finding my self so uncomfotable that i broke into hard sweating ....and finally request the driver to stop the bus so that i can vomit ,,, still my head is like 360 deg revolving ,,as one of my friend told my to opt the train rather than bus , at that time i felt that uhh ....why is it so as its volvo ,, but now i understood the meaning ..

what to tell about the hyderabad the only two place which is worth to dwell in are jublee hills and banjara hills other than that its seems like my...as some one has mess up with it too , roads are full of traffic and buses of god i just wish i look at them ......

well I feel like to get back to home as now its enough I have roam around but now i think its time to go back to home .....I will discuss about this journey in my next blog..................

as every building have a base to stand on and if the base is not there its better to not dream about the sky high ...coz one day surely its will go down ....

So now i dont have any reason to roam around ,,,,,

I have lost so many things in this past years. my status, my career and bla bla bla ......astrologically this past year wasnt very great in any sense ...

but this past year have a very beautiful thing with in it which make this year very special inspite of having so many flaws..

bacha u are the most beautifull thing which had happened to me ,,,,,

thanks for all those precious and cherishable moments.....

I am really tired ......wana to sleep forever with full of my eyes..

thnks a lot to this page who can hear me

unleash the dark ness.................

Hii , how are you all ,

Its been I have cried a lot , tears are keep on flowing and finding a place to get drown …………….

Last day I came to know the real meaning of love ,

What is love?

What my friend told me I want to share those words with you all…..

Love is just nothing but a bliss which I s given by one beautiful soul to another.

Since being in love I wasn’t realized it that what is love ….

All I had up in my heart, is to make her happy by any means..

I wasn’t known to this fact that ,she is not at all happy with me then what the point to be burden on her , my friend shown me the reality, so………,

What he told me that ,

If she would be happy with me she would call me at least but now as she wont be happy and I m just troubling her and nothing else …..

Bache I just want you to be happy in any means and nothing else …me worrying about your health ,,,,,

I really don’t have any more words to speak on ,,

I was unlucky to not to get my love ,

But I just pray for every ones life that they will reach to their Alma matter.

My friend told me that she don’t want even to talk to me that’s why she wont even call and talk even only for few minutes , so he just told me why I am troubling you with all this as you are happy with out you ,,coz in love the person cant stay away even for a second …..

I think what ever he said is all correct ………what else I can speak …..

What to do …..

Today leaving for Hyderabad may I can get some peace over there, my friend also want to accompany me but I want to remain alone as some thing has shattered deep into my heart ….I don’t know where to go ,but my great friend I need you .

Thanks to this page who can hear me.

let it go................

Hii….
How are you all?…
I m as usual here,still being in banglore,as I told you all that me looking to left for some other place as there was slight delay in plan because of the breaking of riots there….
But I am provoked to move there as now this place is stinging me….
Hmmmmm uffffff believe me I m really tired of my self,,,,I need to sleep where I can rest and lie down forever,
Please tell me the place where I can get peace ,I know the peace for which I m wandering is nothing , its just a illusion which I need to find out in my self ……

i guess we were that much alone when we were alone , but after being with someone I cant tell you how alone we became……

well All thanks to my dear friends ion this hard time who is still stood aside to me,,,,,

I have a question from all of you ….

Please answer me on the name of love why peoples play with the feelings of others ….
Are these words are so stupid that any one can use them for their meanness…

Past few days got to know two more unsuccessful love stories which make me shattered up to my deepest…
Both stories are about my dear friends ,,,,,,
In both stories I just realized that nothing is permanent here…

Why peoples betrays, why peoples use , why peoples play with the feelings,,,
Please I need an answer………please give me answer,,,

What has happened with me that was just nothing In comparison to what has happened with them…

That’s what make me realize that love is just nothing but a curse which is given by god in the form of punishment.

So what I feel rather than to hold the soul in you body it’s better to release it ,so that it will find its alma matter,,,,,
When something is out of your hand then its better to let that thing happen,

I guess its better to hurt your self rather than to be hurted by someone else, soar your heart In such away so that you cant feel the pain which is given by some one who had showed that she is so near and dear to you ,
I promise you try this and you will be out of every pain ,
no one can give you pain ....

thanks a lot to this page who can taking care of my feeling and will never hurt me…

walking alone without my soul...........

Hi,

Wats up with u all …..

So the news is this Ones again life start planning to play with me ,heheheh,

Today only I got a new job mail from London , u guys must be astonishing that ,,why the hell I m saying that life is playing with me ,well the most important news is this now the days I am doing best of my health hehehe ,,,,getting fitts on every one or alternative day…..

So this opportunity is seems like as some shows you the mug of water, but while move close to it you find it empty …..last night also condition was terrible ,felt so week that couldn’t gather the energy to go to loo, at last my friend came back and he called the doctor who put a bottle of drip ,,,after that only I find my self bit energies to stand…..on 9 th my plaster going to cut..

A big thanks to my friend who taking care of mine in every manner ,as being on leaves she is the only one who is taking care of all my expenses,

One very bad news as I got to realize , things were not being very great with my dad , my family is hiding some thing from me it seems like that they are in penury for since long time but they don’t want to reveal things to me ….

I m such a heck of guy who is mean in every sense and always cribbing about my life ….

But now I have decided to take care of my family as they need me before myself,

Ones again I m moving from here to somewhere….

I really don’t have any idea why and from whom I m running ….

It seems like I am in a close casket , which is full of mirror and among of all I m looking for a mirror who can show me the true glimpse of mine,,,,,

Every one trying to make me fool as I don’t know any thing, I really don’t have any problem with whom ever you are …..as, it shows when you care someone to make awake in context to someone’s health ….

.

I guess you know whom I am talking about …..plzzz tell me if you love him …ones you had asked me to light up the dark now I m asking you to light up the dark,

Believe me In this matter I will be the guy who will pray for you with core of my heart….it seems like as she already left the place and me still waiting near to the bench where we use to meet .....is she will come back ?plzz god ans me...

Well you are looking for wild life course I do have some very good contacts and Catherine and bhanu were looking to help me in your affairs.

Ones again all thanks to my great friend for her unconditional help….I really don’t have any idea how do I can thanks her......

Plzzz take care you all ……

One thing which I have realized what ever is kind of journey is , all you just need to keep on walking ,so I am walking and left the place for a new destination to make every one happy.

Don’t worry soon every thing gona fine.....

Thanks to this page who can hear me unconditionally.

A Drowning SOUL with a smile on

hii,
What’s up,………
With Every one,
It’s as usual morning here but now the days its all fun ……….
Every night me use to sleep some where at 4 am,
Day before yesterday we all went to mysore, as Akshita is here she is my dear friend cousin, so we all decided to make her see around, it was an evening trip,
But here I am going to talk about my own experience……….
It was so nice to be there walking all alone with your own self,,,, facing your own shadow in the dark water and trying hard to see the glimpse of yours soul in that…..and try to find out what you have got and what you have loose ….
And suddenly saw the sun that laying his almighty head down, as seems like he is also feel like a looser, isn’t I was looking for my face in that drowning sun, who losses his identity in this lake called love hehehehehe….
Now the days as I am thinking a lot, that what I was and now what I am? Some one assassinated me………. I am begging to my all mighty please give me my life back, please I beg you god ,,,,,,,,I want to be that guy who I was …….a simple and smily and who always keep on trying to make every one smile ….I am not a mystery who attracts others by hiding something , I m just a simple guy who cant hide anything from any one either his own sins or his love or his hate , I beg you my life don’t push me into from where I wont come back………
Few days back some one had asked me that is that love is an curse , hehehe well I do have an answer how can be love is an curse as there was no love hehehheheh………..as according to that person it was just some sought of things which was happened in bit hurry,
But finally trying hard to a new beginning ………..

Thanks to god and this page who can hear my heart